drama & choices...

Truth: I've been struggling recently with a particular situation in my life. I've been resistant to the changes that are occurring. I've felt stuck and helpless (woe is me!). I've created drama and, not surprisingly, I've been a wee bit grumpy - okay, a lot grumpy.


And then I read this, shared by one of my beautiful friends:

There is freedom that comes with awareness. Rather than thinking we are stuck in a repetitive cycle with no escape, we begin to see that we very much play a hand in creating our lives. Whether we are aware of them or not, our behaviors and choices are ours to make.

Madyson Taylor

Sigh... but of course! The situation I'm in is not the cause of my grumpiness. It's not the source of my stress (more on stress very soon). My struggles are caused solely and completely by my resistance to the ebb and flow of life, my shitty 'tude and the way I've been behaving. Crap. I did it to myself.

BUT, here's the power in the realization, the freedom in the awareness: the only thing that needs to change for me to feel differently is me... just me!

It's amazing how much drama we create in our own lives and how much things can change when we change how we look at them... and how we respond to them!

Happy Thursday!
mxo

relish...

Tummy full of delicious dark chocolate banana treats.
Body full of post-yoga heat.
Heart full of joy.

Tonight, while I waited for my beautiful friend at an amazing new (well, new to me) yoga studio in Toronto - Breathe Yoga - I stumbled upon this:






Relish the ride, not just the accomplishments.

Matthew Sanford

 

 

 

 

 

 

The perfect reminder to read his book, Waking, which I bought, placed on a shelf and completely forgot about.

Happy Wednesday!
mxo

fear...

From the time we're kids, we're taught not to be afraid. It's the one thing we all pretend not to be and it's probably the only thing we all are. I wonder what it would be like if we had never learned to bury our fears but instead, we were just taught to admit them.

Sexy Patrick Wilson's character in Life in Flight

I'm afraid of missing out on all that life has to offer, of arriving at my end regretting things I didn't do and counting the opportunities I passed up.

I'm afraid I won't have enough faith in myself and in life to walk away from situations that no longer serve me.

I'm afraid of not having love in my life. 


That was frightening... but also strangely liberating.

So much love!
mxo

time...

I had the most lovely lunch date today with a good friend.
We had the most lovely conversation about time.

It seems we both realized something profound recently. Mr. Einstein said it best...

I think this is especially fitting with March right around the corner. March is the month most people in Toronto really grumble about. We're sick of winter, it's not quite spring, it's grey and damp. But it's there - we can't fast-forward through it. It's there so that winter can calmly surrender to spring. It's there so that we really, really enjoy what comes after (April... and May flowers... and patios!).

spring!

So as opposed to fast-forwarding through everything and trying to do everything at once, what can you surrender?  What can you save for another day?

My only suggestion - keep the truly important things because there may not be another day.

Kind... to yourself... please be. 
mxo

growing up and making soup...

I fell asleep reading last night. At 11pm.
This has become my new weekend routine.

A few years ago, I used to start my Saturdays at 11pm. I'd stumble into bed at 6am, praying that I'd fall asleep before the sun rose and confirmed by zombie status. Around 2 the next afternoon, I'd roll out of bed, maybe work on an essay for a few hours, and then repeat.

It was great while it lasted and I was very ready for it to end when it did.

Fast forward five years to this morning when I woke up with a slight twinge of remorse for the days that once were. I think that's natural - we all tend to romanticize the past. But whenever that happens, I let myself really stew in those memories until I remember all of the less-than-glorious aspects.

And then I quickly realize that I really, truly love where I am now. I love being a grown-up... and aging is fun! Whether we choose to mourn the past and dread aging OR we say, "that was fun, what's next?!" is totally up to us.

  

Blah, blah, blah... onto soup! :)

I made two delicious pots of soup this week. I made my mom's Sweet Potato Carrot Soup (yum, yum) AND I made a un-creamy broccoli soup (it's vegan) inspired by the most beautiful blog there ever was: Green Kitchen Stories.

 

Here is my interpretation of their recipe, my un-Creamy Broccoli Soup:

• 2 tbsp coconut oil or olive oil 
• 5 cloves garlic, finely chopped 
• 1 yellow onion, finely chopped 
• 1/4 tsp dried chili flakes 
• 2 heads of broccoli, cut into smaller florets and slice the stalk 
• 4 cups water or veggie stock to cover 
• 1 x 400 ml can coconut milk 
• 1 tbsp tahini
• Big pinch or two of salt, to taste
• 1 tsp curry powder (optional)
• 2 cups of fresh spinach (optional)
• 5-10 of fresh basil leaves (optional)
• Garnish: roasted pumpkin seeds and cilantro. 

Heat up the oil on medium with the red chili flakes and garlic until fragrant - you don't want to burn the garlic! Toss in the onion and reduce the heat so that the onion sweats (rather than being fried crisp). Cook for a few minutes, stirring occasionally. Add broccoli, cover with stock/ water, bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer and let it cook for 20-30 minutes. Remove a few cups of the broth (you can always add it back in). Add coconut milk, basil, spinach, curry and tahini. Blend, blend, blend until creamy (hand blender is best but my food processor works well too, it's just messier). If it's too thick, add in some of the removed liquid. Cook for another 5-10 minutes. Serve with garnish. Enjoy!

It's vegan, gluten-free and totally yummy.

I froze a big jar-full for a quick weekday meal. Also, freeze the leftover water! It makes for an awesome stock for future soups. I can't wait until their cookbook hits the shelves!


Be kind to yourself!
mxo

P.S. I do wonder if we ever feel like grown-ups...

why we breathe...

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

Hafiz

P.S. What you're looking for, you already have...

               

advice epidemic...

I woke on Sunday compelled to box up all of my self-help books. All of a sudden, I had this super clear sense that they were doing more harm than good. Those seemingly helpful words were actually distracting me from listening to my own inner voice.

Then today, serendipitously, I watched this:

        

Minute 14:40 on REALLY hit home.

We are suffering from an epidemic of too much advice. The internet is chock-full of articles, videos and blogs (like mine, ha) with tips and tricks on life, love, fitness, happiness - everything! The self-help business is booming - Oprah has built herself an empire on it. Most of these resources come from people honestly trying to be helpful BUT the sheer volume can be absolutely overwhelming.

Here's the thing: there's no cookie-cutter solution. We are all unique and we all need to live our lives in our own ways. You're never going to know if you're on your right path until you get so quiet that you can hear yourself think (and feel!).

Two bookshelves, packed almost exclusively with self-help books!

Take it all with a grain of salt and set a goal to regularly tune out the world. Tune inward instead. That's mine big goal for the next long while - all I'm allowing myself to read and watch is fiction. Period, of end story. :)

Happy Tuesday!
mxo

P.S. The ironies in this post aren't lost on me... :)