rainy tuesday thoughts...

sunday sabbath

"Imagine a spinning top. Stillness is like a perfectly centred top, spinning so fast it appears motionless. It appears this way not because it isn't moving, but because it is spinning at full speed."

~ Erich Schiffmann

The trees are bare. It's grey and snowing. The holiday decorations are out and the stores are buzzing. That can only mean it's almost December... which means it is time to check in again!

November was most certainly the most difficult month in terms of keeping my resolutions - overall, a D+. Sure, there was one glorious Sabbath week in Mexico - all rest, all family, all of the time - but the rest of the month was the antithesis of slow. I might as well have been a ping pong ball projected back and forth, back and forth through some infinite abyss. Eat at a table? Nope! I ate at my desk 90% of the time. Take a lunch break four times a week? Nope! Most days I would completely forget to even take a 10-minute leg stretcher. Nope, nope, nope....

... but that's okay, because despite my abysmal performance this month, I learned some mighty important lessons.

Lesson One: tempo giusto

Slow isn't for everyone. It definitely isn't for me. I feel a lot more Maya-like when I'm operating at a faster, busier speed, especially when that speed is a result of things I enjoy. Last year, I had a lot more time on my hands. My evenings and weekends were, for the most part, free. And I hated it. I was bored, unmotivated, watched too much TV, etc. Some people however, thrive on slow. My dad, for example, has completely and entirely mastered il dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing). He can spend hours doing, well, nothing at all and loving every minute of it. But not me. Although I am absolutely exhausted when I hit the pillow every night, I feel like I am getting the most out of each and every day. I haven't quite found my tempo giusto yet, but I know that it lies somewhere closer to busy town.

Lesson Two: sabbath

Even though I thrive on busy, I absolutely, without a doubt, need a weekly Sabbath... and I suspect so do most people. Sabbath is so essential to my well being, that my body will force it on me when I forget to plan it into my week. And it makes sense. You can't drive a car without eventually needing to stop and refuel. Lesson learned. No more Sunday to-dos. I woke up this morning, politely cancelled all of my plans, and am happily spending every moment in sweat pants. Amazing.

So, on this cloudy, cold November Sunday, let yourself snuggle up in comfy clothes, completely forego the to-do list, and refuel... that is, unless you'd rather pack the day from beginning to end. Whatever you do, just try to live according to your tempo giusto today. :)

Thanks for the patient wait... I missed you!

mxo

one breath at a time...

Holy moly! Delinquent blogger here!

Let me explain my absence:

That's me!

Last week, I put my crazy little life on hold and headed to Mexico. After a few twitchy days - it's hard to know how to do absolutely nothing when you're used to doing way toooooo much - I settled in and let every cell of my body relax. Completely. Fully. Relax.

It was wonderful....

... except for one wee problem.

The vacation completely threw me off my nutty, nutty pace and I have struggled to get back. After three 16-hour days, I prepared for bed yesterday near tears.

Here's how the bedside conversation went:

me: There always seems to be so much to do.

hubby-to-be (htb): What do you mean?

me: My to-do list just grows and grows and grows. It never seems to be disappear.

htb: That's life, babe.

me: But it's so exhausting. It's wearing me out.

htb: Sure, if you let it. There will always be things to do, but you don't have to do them all at once.

LIGHTBULB! I realized that the pressure and speed was largely self-imposed. Sure, there are things to do. There always will be things to do. But how many of those things really need to be done? What's really important? What can wait? What can you let go of completely? It's seems that if you ever feel like I did last night, when you can't breathe because you have so much to do and just the thought of it stresses you out, simply slow down and prioritize. One breath at a time.

With that thought, I took a deep breath and mentally crossed off (or at least delayed) a third of my self-imposed to-do list. I turned over and fell asleep thinking about how much I love my wise htb.

So tonight, before you turn over and fall asleep, give yourself permission to give up one item on your life's to-do list... without guilt.

Namaste,

mxo

yoga pose of the week: triangle

And then there are days like this...

... days when you wake up rested, content, and knowing exactly what you need to do.

... days when the subway is remarkably empty at the exact same time it was ridiculously full yesterday.

... days when it's beautifully sunny and crisp outside.

... days when it really doesn't matter what anyone's issues are at work. They are theirs and theirs alone.

... days when you "end" the day with five hours of yoga.

... days when the world just makes sense.

... and you come home exhausted but elated.

So I owe all of you a yoga pose. I've been a tad tardy on this front (ironic really, given what I'm so absorbed in these days). But it happens. Life is life, and all you can do is move forward.

On that note, we're moving sideways this week, all the way into triangle!

This here is triangle (or trikonasana):

(Thanks Yoga Journal!)

Basically, while pretending you're squeezed between two panes of glass, you push one hip out and stretch all the way to the other side. When you've reached your limit, you windmill your arms (on resting on your shin or thigh, the other stretching for the sky), hold and breathe. Shoulders stack. Ribs stack. Length, length, length.

Triangle is great for stretching and strengthening your legs, stimulating the digestive organs, stretching your shoulders and chest, strengthening the muscles around your spinal column, etc, etc. It's also supposedly great for relieving stress and anxiety.

I personally have a love/ hate relationship with triangle. I have a hard time not crunching my side, keeping my ribs and bum tucked in, and figuring out where to look... sometimes it's an outright mess. But tonight, after two hours of just triangle (thanks universe!), I think I got it (really, thanks universe!) It's not that I perfected where my shoulders, ribs, hips, head, etc are in relation to each other - I still have a long way to go. Instead, the yoga lightbulb that went off tonight was simply this: give up attempting perfection and listen to your body. It knows best. When I gave up forcing my perfect triangle, I performed my best one to date.

There are many more lessons that come with practicing yoga than just how body parts must be aligned. It can't help but seep into everything else. But more on that later...

It's late. Time for bed.

Thanks for stopping by! :)

mxo

setbacks...

And then there are days like this...

... days when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and it spirals from there.

... days when you get shoved and pushed, and yelled at on the subway.

... days when it's dark and dreary outside... and cold, very cold.

... days when your coworkers pull you in every which direction until you almost rip apart.

... days when you skip what you love with every core of your being because you're too upset.

... days when nothing terribly horrible happens but still the world feels all sorts of wrong.

... days when all you can do when you get home is cry.

Today is one of those days - a setback on an otherwise fantastic journey.

The wiser, more mature me can't help but feel as though setbacks are life's greater wisdom forcing us to stop, slow down, and reassess. Maybe there is something we haven't quite learned yet. Maybe we're not exactly on the right path yet. In my case, I know exactly what's wrong - it's the same thing that's been wrong for over a year - I just don't know how to step outside of my non-risk-taking, playing-it-safe self... at least not yet.

“It takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you really are.” ~ e.e. cumming