february... FOCUS

Oh boy!

Last week was temper tantrum week.

There were tears, whining sessions, woes-me moments, and struggles with throwing in the towel on everything. "If I'm working so hard on feeling good, and I'm feeling this bad, what's the point?" I couldn't help but wonder.

It all made me feel very much like this -------------------->>>>

God knows what made me so miserable those 20+ years ago!

Yes, it was certainly temper tantrum week.

For the past six months or so, I have been on the incredible journey to iron out the wrinkles in my life. I wanted to finally get over my baggage and make this experience mean something more. I threw myself into all of the happy, healthy things I could think of - yoga (so much yoga!), healthy eating, spending time with friends and family, changing my relationship with money, etc. And I've put all of that out there, making this journey that much more vulnerable. So when weeks like this past one occur, it's somewhat inevitable that I start questioning all of the time and effort I have already committed. What's the point?

But that's the thing about life, when you truly, really dedicate yourself to something, it will throw every last demon at your door. It will test you to see just how committed you are, how much you really want this change you're asking for. If you really want it badly enough, you push through; if you don't, you give up and return to status quo. I'd rather push through because I suspect that there's a lesson in all of it, a chance to clear the baggage, and it'll all be worth it - to be very honest, it already has been. I have to constantly remind myself that life isn't about being perfect. It's about overcoming obstacles and growing stronger and lighter with each battle won. There's certainly a point to all of it.

With that said, I'm moving forward.

It's almost February which means it's time for new resolutions! Yippie! :) Part of what I realized in the last few days is that I'm struggling because I've run myself into such a busy tizzy, without really having any aim. Busyness for the sake of busyness is exhausting. It leads to temper tantrums galore!

It's time to get organized, to restructure and reset so that my time and energy is truly being used to meet my goals. So, February's focus will be just that... FOCUS! One month to make sure everything (or almost everything) I am doing is geared towards that happy, healthy life I have been working so hard for.

In no particular order, I commit to:

1. Focusing my aim.
2. Focusing my schedule.
3. Focusing my to-do lists.
4. Focusing my exercise regime.
5. Focusing my relaxation.

I'll end today with one final thought (not my own, but Jonathan Winters is pretty cool):

I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

~Jonathan Winters

Blah, blah, blah... happy Sunday! :)

mxo

6 healthy habits that can make you sick

This randomly crossing my path this morning:




6 healthy habits that can make you sick
By Therese J. Borchard, DivineCaroline



"I dance the Macarena whenever I come across an article that argues against extreme healthy living. I laughed while reading research about dark chocolate firing up the happy brain. And I high-fived the doctors who warn folks against too much sunscreen--because it blocks the vitamin D that all of us need. I hate that stuff and was looking long and hard for an excuse not to look like a clown this summer. Thank you! I've even performed the opposite of an intervention with one of my friends last week who was trying to give up alcohol and nicotine at the same time. And now, I bring you one more doctor you will like: Dr. Erika Schwartz, Medical Director of Cinergy Health. She's here to tell us not to get too carried away with our healthy habits. Thanks, Erika!

As a society, we are constantly striving to lead healthier, happier lives. But with these efforts, we sometimes run the risk of going too far. As a rule of thumb, any extreme is unhealthy, but rarely are we made aware of the "cons" of healthy habits, instead led to think any good thing is better if done as often as possible. Not so fast...As a society, we are constantly striving to lead healthier, happier lives. But with these efforts, we sometimes run the risk of going too far. As a rule of thumb, any extreme is unhealthy, but rarely are we made aware of the "cons" of healthy habits, instead led to think any good thing is better if done as often as possible. Not so fast... [read more] "


Thanks universe!
mxo

january... exhaustion

Ladies and gentlemen, I have reached my almost-breaking point. In my attempt to fill January with lots and lots of nourishing activities - yoga classes, spinning, pilates, spa trips (okay, that didn't happen), cleanses, etc - I thoroughly exhausted myself. This morning, as I attempted to stay awake in the shower, I started to cry because I wanted just one more hour of sleep.

Today, I felt and looked very much like this (give or take 20 years):

Exhausted.

Let's recap how I got myself to this point.

Here's what I set out to do in January:

... to nourish my body:

• a 21-day cleanse We all know how that ended. ;)
• 30 classes in 30 days With 6 days left and 10 classes left on the agenda, I can safely check that off as completed.
• spa day Wishful thinking. Very wishful thinking.

... to nourish my mind:

• meditate I'm getting better, but I'm not quite there yet. It's a struggle.
• read nourishing things Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr. Amazing. Check!

... to nourish my soul:

• watch good movies Here's a little Maya-tidbit: I LOVE movies, especially sappy romantic movies. I love movies that make me cry, and most movies make me cry. Even when I can't find enough time to sleep, I will find enough time to watch a movie. It's my stress relief. I just wish there were more movies to watch. Any suggestions?
• be my own epicure Oops, completely forgot this one was on the list! I certainly wasn't being my on epicure during my cleanse!

So, in a sense, this month of nourishment was a success. I managed to keep myself in such a tizzy that my January just whizzed by! Not once did I complain about (or even really notice) the weather. To be honest, I didn't really notice anything whizzing by. I blinked and it's almost February. During the tough Canadian winters, this is a good thing.

And it was fun! I saw friends and family, I stretched and strengthened, cleansed and gorged. So much better than hibernation. Staying active and social is so much better for the soul!

BUT, in true Maya fashion, I lost my sense of balance. I packed my schedule so tightly, and omitted some of the most nourishing things (healthy eating habits, sleep, meditation), that I finally reached my breaking point. Exhaustion.

The lesson of balance seems to be one I have to keep relearning... or perhaps it's that I haven't learned it at all yet. Oh well, all we can do is dust ourselves off and keep on trying. If you smell a challenge coming on, you might just be right. ;)

Happy almost February!

mxo

cleanse - an after thought...

Hello all!

So it's been four days since my decision to end my cleanse, and I feel great. It was absolutely the right decision. I spent the weekend with friends and family enjoying dinners, wines and gluten. I am healthier, significantly happier, and much more at ease.

BUT just because I called it quits on the cleanse does not mean it was all a wash. Those twelve days were incredibly valuable in switching my gears back towards healthier, more balanced (and green!) eating. They helped remind me to pay more attention to what my body needs to function properly. And there are some "cleansing" gems that I have continued to keep up (i.e. starting the day with warm water with lemon and cayenne is blissful!)

If I had to sum up my cleanse in five lessons, they would be:

one: Green juices are amazing.

They shouldn't be treated as meal replacements, as least not in this weather or if you're super active, but they should be consumed as often as possible. That amount of amazing alkaline nutrients is never a bad thing.

two: Dry brushing is amazing.

Goodbye dry flaky winter skin. Goodbye cellulite. Hello invigorating and super fun scrub, scrub, scrub!

three: Fruits and especially vegetables are your friends.

Your body will be very happy if every meal is coloured by these lovely friends. It will be less happy if each of your meals is beige.

four: Coffee is too delicious and nourishing in this weather to give up.

Blurry but delicious soy latte! Sorry cleanse.

five: Always, always, always listen to your body - not your cravings, not your rational mind or demanding ego, but your body. It will always tell you want it needs to feel most nourished. One caveat, if you think your body needs twinkies and ho hos (what's a ho ho?), you're not listening very well.

Oh yes, and relax. Life is supposed to be fun! :)

Thank you so much for taking part in my cleansing adventure...

mxo

P.S. Apparently this is a ho ho:

Who knew?! (Not me)

cleanse - day twelve... honesty

I woke this morning with a debilitating pain in my gut. The guilt over last night's beer cheat had combined with other stressors and manifested itself as an awful stomach ache and a general "have I been hit by a truck?" feeling. Something was wrong.

I called in sick and moped around for a little while. Then I made one of the best decisions I have in a few weeks. I got dressed and headed to yoga. I promised myself that I would let the practice be whatever it needed to be today - if all I could handle was lying on the mat for an hour, or hanging out in child's pose, that would be totally fine. I let every posture be what it needed to be, and let my intuition (rather than my competitive, type-A ego) guide me. Something changed; I was washed clean.

Here's what I realized in those few hours at Tula, both on my mat and in lovely discussions with amazing fellow yogis: this cleanse has been making me miserable in every way.

The first few days were amazing, but the last few have been a struggle. I don't just mean in terms of cravings for junk - I was never big on junk anyways. It's been making me miserable because I've been trying to fit myself into neatly defined boundaries when that's not at all what my body is asking for. It's -20c right now, I work out about 15 - 20 hours per week... and I've been feeding myself food that just hasn't been nourishing.

And then there's the issue of the guilt and the self-battering that comes when I attempt these kinds of things. Penance for drinking one beer with girlfriends while eating a huge vegan ceasar salad... really? That's just not how I want to live my life. Physically and emotionally, I've been feeling deprived.

So I let it go. I "threw in the towel". Twelve days of cleansing was enough. And as soon as I let it go, as soon as I took myself out of that box, I immediately felt better. Immediately.

I asked my belly what it wanted for lunch. It responded with this:

Tempeh and avocado sandwich from Urban Herbivore with sprouts, tomatoes, and all sorts of goodness...

AND my rice milk latte an hour later.

Amazing.

Now, I'm not a quitter so this decision was very hard... and by no means am I saying that we should all just throw in the towel when things get rough. I "threw in the towel" because I knew was off kilter, not because I was craving some junk. I was honouring myself and really listening to what would nourish me. My deepest truest self doesn't want junk. It wants to be happy and healthy. :)

It's not easy to do, but when we let our true selves guide us, we make the right decisions... always. How do you know you have made the right decision, the most nourishing, self-honouring decision? You immediately feel lighter after. You glow.

Hope you're all having a wonderful Friday.

Namaste!

mxo

cleanse - day eleven... uh oh

Just one, but it was enough to make me feel like I just poured tar over white silk. :(

There will be penance tomorrow. :(

mxo

P.S. You have to drink Molson if you're out with the Molson rep. It makes everything else free!

cleanse - day ten... inspiration

Pow!

Brekkie: grapefruit + blueberries.

Zap!

Lunch: kitchen sink salad with lemon tahini dressing +

butternut squash soup with avocado and kale chips

Zoom!

Snack 1: yummy granola bar

Snack 2: coconut water with banana

BATMAN!

Dinner: brown rice pasta, side salad, roasted eggplant

Before I end (I am deliriously tired), just one final thought from Oni (from Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Cancer doc... awesome!)

every body has something

that they have to...

you have to either accept or fight your whole life long.

now what do you want to do?

do you want to fight against what's really happening

or sink into it somehow?

because there might be something in there…

We all have a finite number of heartbeats. How do you want to spend yours?

mxo

cleanse - day nine... uff

Uffffffffffffffff...

Today was not a good day... but it was a valuable day.

It was one of those days when you can feel the universe more than hinting. It's clearly just slapping you in the face, demanding that you wake up and make some better decisions. One of the things I know the universe is trying to tell me is to take better care of myself, to nourish myself.

And here's the thing about this cleanse, I don't think it's very nourishing right now. I'm eating far too much processed food, however "healthy" it may be, and not enough healthy, cleansing, balanced food.

Case in point:

Breakfast: organic instant oatmeal with almond butter and chia seeds. Anything "instant" isn't exactly healthy.

Snack: attempted chai latte with almond milk as a cheat... but I took one sip, slipped and spilled the rest on the ground. Thanks universe! Message received.

Lunch: fennel, lentil and something else soup from Live, quinoa and steamed veggie bowl from home. Not so bad.

Snack: "cheesy" kale chips from Live. Why not just kale?

Dinner: the piece de resistance... one orange and a bunch of sea vegetable rice crackers. Who only knows what's actually in those! :(

Post-training: bowl of rice puffs with almond milk.

Too much food, too much processed food, not enough leaves, not enough alkalinity... something has to change.

I am just about half way through my cleanse and it's time for a serious reset.... stay tuned. This cleansing business isn't easy!!

mxo

cleanse - day eight... blue monday

Happy Blue Monday everyone!

I'm tired today, so I'll keep it short.

Breakfast: quinoa with almond milk, dates, cinnamon and chia.

Lunch: POW!

Greeeeeeeeen monster (a.k.a. the "Detoxifier")! Plus some brown rice sushi yumminess.

Snack: my "cheat" for the day.

One heavenly chocolate brownie. Ingredients: walnuts, cocoa powder, honey, sunflower seeds. I have no idea how they make such delicious things out of so few ingredients! (Sorry about the blurry pic;

I was too excited about this to stay calm!)

Dinner: butternut squash soup - totally vegan and delicious - spinach concoction, avocado and some lentil chips. I ate about a third of the plate. My eyes were much bigger than my tummy is! Oh, and one orange for dessert.

Perfect meal to complete an amazing spinning + power yoga class.

Here's to Blue Monday being over!

mxo

cleanse - day seven... green monster

In preparation for my full-day juice-only cleanse, I have introduced a green monster to my daily cleansing routine. Here's the recipe for my green monster:

Take a bunch of random vegetables from your fridge, preferably all organic. In my case, it was carrots, broccoli, two types of chard, cucumber, celery and green leaves. Throw a fruit in there for sweetness.

Chop everything into slim piece that will fit into Old Faithful.

Bring out Old Faithful, the juicer that's been in my family for... hmm... probably 15 years.

Run vegetables through old faithful (too hard to do and snap pics at the same time). The result...

... the GREEN MONSTER!! An incredibly healthy and tasty (I think) concoction of enzymes, vitamins, and all the other goodness of the organic vegetables that went into it!

Only one small hiccup: the mess afterwards. But well worth it! :)

In other news, today was a good cleansing day.

Just green juice and rice crackers with guacamole for breakfast.

Super Hero granola from Live, a banana and coconut water as a post-workout snack.

Quinoa with steamed vegetables and guacamole for dinner.

Two oranges and some more granola for dessert.

And a handful of lentil crisps throughout the day. Yum!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

mxo

cleanse - day six... survival

Happy Saturday everyone!

Today was an interesting day on my cleanse. It didn't feel very cleanse like, and that was the entire point. I realized last night that if I want to survive the full 21 days, I have to add a few "cheat" days in. Today was a "cheat" day... well, sort of.

This morning I decided I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, so long as it fit the restrictions (had to be vegan, no sugar, no gluten, no caffeine, no booze, etc). Outside of that, it didn't matter. I needed some way to stay on track!

So I started the day with a delicious green monster after my warm water with lemon and cayenne (yes, we finally have lemons!!). I'll post more about the green monster separately but, for now, I'll leave you with what it looks like:

Yum!

Then there was this around 8:30am:

Brown rice puffs with blueberries and almond milk, with loads of cinnamon and ground flax on top!

Then oatmeal with nuts for breakfast numero dos around 11:00 at Sbucks (my hubby-to-be wanted his usual breakfast sandwich; I was peckish).

Then I headed to Noah's before training and a full bag of goodies!

My snack was lentil chips with guacamole.

Then for dinner, there was this:

Some brown rice sushi with carrots, burdock, cucumber, etc and the most amazingly delicious zucchini "spaghetti" with pesto, kale, spinach and tomatoes from Live. SOOOOO unbelievably delicious - so good in fact, that I forgot to take a photo until it was almost all done!

And finally, I just finished the brown rice sushi because I was peckish again. Overall, I probably ate too much, too late, and not enough leaves... but it helped me not hate this cleanse. In fact, if I could eat foods like this everyday, I would stay on this cleanse forever... just please don't hold me to that!

After so many hours of yoga, I am spent.

Good night!

mxo