january: nourishment

Canadian Januarys are typically very tough months. It's cold. It's grey. It's otherwise miserable and there is no relief in sight. As a result, most of us are miserable.

And with this kind of weather, who wouldn't be?

Snapped a few years ago just outside my old house.

I certainly fall victim to the mid-winter blues. It's not the cold that bothers me, but the lack of sunshine (see above). I'm a leo - us lions need our sun. By the end of January, I tend to feel as grey as the sky outside.

But this year is going to be different! I'm going to be proactive! Since I can't make the sun come out and play, and I can't head south just yet, I'll have to find other means to take care of myself. This month is dedicated to just that: nourishment, as a preventive measure to nip the January blues in the bud!

In no particular order, here's what I commit to for January:

... to nourish my body:

• a 21-day cleanse
• 30 classes in 30 days
• spa day

... to nourish my mind:

• meditate (that's right, it's back on the list)
• read nourishing things

... to nourish my soul:

• watch good movies
• be my own epicure

This might very well be my most hedonistic month, but that's just fine with me! After all, "hedonism" stems from the Greek "Hēdonē (Ἡδονή) ", the Greek name for Volupas, the beautiful goddess of pleasure. There are worse things in life than being a beautiful goddess. ;)

mxo

P.S. I do not recommend googling for images of hedone or volupas... can't say I was prepared for that!

P.P.S. HAPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!!! :)

check-in time!

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! How ever did it get to be the end of December?! It seems like the holidays disappeared after just one blink. I hope you all had the most merry of hollies!

The end of December can only mean one thing for this delinquent blogger: it's check-in time! I (thankfully) kept my resolutions very simple for December:

Friends and family, seeing as much of both as absolutely possible,

and really being there in the moment with them.

... and I can happily say that I fulfilled this one as much as I possibly could.

There were martinis and fancy dinners, yoga dates and holiday parties, chats over coffee and lovely brunches... it was amazing. After so much time running around, I finally got to reconnect with all of the people I love so very much.

... but...

Somewhere in all of that fun, I fell a little off kilter. I started to feel a little flighty and completely disorganized. I kept up with the yoga but abandoned any sort of healthy diet. I forgot how to sleep, eat, and otherwise take care of myself. I suppose even too much of a good thing is... well... too much.

So, after a month of fun and a little wobbliness, I have learned two very important me-isms:

1. I need some Maya-only time to feel centred. Even if it's deathly boring, I need to be on my own to recharge my batteries. I guess Myers-Briggs was right, I am an introvert after all.
2. I have an absolutely amazing support system - amazing friends, a loving family... really, what more could I girl want?!

For these insights, I am unbelievably grateful.

I end December with one final thought for you... actually, it's more of a request: before the year is out, please tell at least one person in your life just how much you love them, just how much you're grateful they are in your life, and just how much you'd miss them if they went. Because that's the thing, tomorrow has yet to be written and we really have no idea who will be around to help us fill that page.

Okay lovelies, it's movie night! I must go!

mxo

That's me on the far right, happy as can be!

truths...

Maya truth number one: I am fiercely competitive. I mean fiercely. To this day, I remember with pain the day our test scores were announced in grade 8 science and my best friend dethroned me from my usual top spot by 0.5%. I cried when I got home (over a 97% or something equally ridiculous). To this day, I also remember how amazing it felt to be placed on stage in front of my entire graduating class to be told I was the most accomplished student. I love to win, hate to lose, and have to work daily at not treating life as one big competition (I'm also apparently a huge nerd).

Maya truth number two: I have had the bittersweet (mostly incredibly sweet) fortune of being surrounded by some of the world's most amazing people. Among my nearest and dearest are people who are incredibly accomplished, inspiring, beautiful, intelligent, funny, passionate, driven, and otherwise absolutely amazing. What better test for someone who is attempting to fix her competitive character than incredible competition every single day of the week.

The combination of my first and second truths has led to my third, very private truth: I am painfully insecure. When I don't actively work on it, when I get too stressed and carried away, I turn all of that amazingness around me into a deep-seated inferiority complex. After much time of actively working on myself, this is getting better but I still have days like today when I feel like it's me against the world and I've lost before I've even started.

... but then, after too many stupid tears, I realized this very important fact...

This is a terrible way to look at life. Terrible. There will always be people who are "better" and "worse" if that's how you choose to look at it; this type of competition is an absolutely fruitless game. It will never, ever end...

... hmmm....

Out of all of this has come my forth, brand new truth: all I can strive for is being the best version of me, accordingly solely to my standards, because when you're living the truest version of yourself, you've won... and the game completely falls away.

So tonight, this 19th of December, 2010, I am putting all of this out there so that I can finally move on.

Next chapter: allowing the amazingness around me to inspire me.... :)

Thanks for being amazing... namaste!

mxo

happy ho hos!

This is why December is my most favourite month of the year:

Friends, friends, bestest friends!

I'll admit, after two Christmas parties this weekend, I am absolutely exhausted... but I'm also happy as can be. This is what life is about. :)

Hope everyone is having a happy, happy holiday season!

mxo

change...

"Change. Sometimes it sneaks up on you. Sometimes it hits you over the head. And sometimes you turn a corner, only to find you're different in some small way, and the world doesn't look quite like it used to. "

~Being Erica

Yesterday I actually uttered the words, "I love my life". I believe it was actually, "I love my life sooooo much." My yoga practice has been really coming along, I was riding the high of being named employee of the year, I had just had lunch with a lovely friend, a yoga opportunity had presented itself, my wedding plans were coming along nicely, and I was off to meet four amazing ladies for dinner and martinis. I honestly, truly loved my life. And just like that, as though I had jinxed myself, it started to crumble. I went to bed in tears, I woke in tears, I completely and totally stumbled through the beginning of my day wondering if everything I had come to had just fallen away.

Everything about this morning was hard. It was so hard, that I couldn't quite catch my breath. But then something happened, something new and something strange. I bounced back. As I waited for the bus in the cold, almost-dark evening, I realized that no matter what difficulties might come, I have built a core in myself that is unshakable. The crap will come and it will go, but what's inside remains strong and rooted, like a tree. I caught my breath, and immediately got to work on sorting out the difficulties I faced. At least for today, I passed the test.

Here's why I'm sharing this with you: I have only recently reached this point and I did it on my own. Last year, I was a mess and anything small threw me off for days. But I have worked on myself every single day for the past six months, in small but seemingly meaningful ways. Life just feels different now; the world looks different. It's all a choice we can make...

... and action we can take...

... to change.

I hope that you are staying warm!

Namaste,

mxo

P.S. For those of you who watch Being Erica, you will undoubtedly notice the resemblance of my post to last night's episode. I swear, it's completely and entirely coincidental (although I do sometimes think the writers might as well be following me around). I didn't watch the episode until just now... and it gave me chills! :)

saturday!

Here's where I will be on Saturday morning:

One Love Toronto's First Annual

108 Sun Salutation Fundraiser

One Cause

100% of donations support the Global Seva Challenge of Off the Mat, Into the World, whose 2010 efforts will directly support grass roots organizations in South Africa, where approximately 6 million people are living with HIV/AIDS, and vast numbers of children are being orphaned due to parents dying from AIDS.

Will you be there too? I hope so!

mxo

december: FRIENDS & FAMILY

Oh my goodness, it's December! Where, oh where, did this year go?! :)

A new month means a new slate of resolutions...

... but first, I have to share a little secret with you...

December is actually my most favourite month of the year... shhh. Sure, it is a month of torturously spending far too much money while trying to avoid getting trampled to death by panicked, last-minute shoppers. Sure, there is usually far too much to do, too many people to see, and too much fruitcake to eat. Sure, sure, sure... BUT it's also a month of celebrating with family and friends. It's the month for pretty decorations on the streets. It's about chocolates and eggnog, and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation!! It's the first true month of winter, when we're all still excited about the snow and not grunting miserably at each other every time it falls. It's also a month to reflect on the past year and let it all go - the good, the bad, the ugly... whatever 2010 brought disappears at midnight on December 31st and we start with a blank slate (at least we can). Yes, it's my absolute favourite month of the year and I look forward to it all year long.

With all of that said, this fifth month of my happy, healthy project will be a little different from the last few. As opposed to listing off a series of resolutions that I have to manage and keep track all month long, I am dedicating this month to one simple sentiment:

Friends and family, seeing as much of both as absolutely possible,

and really being there in the moment with them.

Happy 1st of December, my most favourite of favourite months! :)

A little outdated, but oh so fitting! ;)

mxo