rainy tuesday thoughts...

sunday sabbath

"Imagine a spinning top. Stillness is like a perfectly centred top, spinning so fast it appears motionless. It appears this way not because it isn't moving, but because it is spinning at full speed."

~ Erich Schiffmann

The trees are bare. It's grey and snowing. The holiday decorations are out and the stores are buzzing. That can only mean it's almost December... which means it is time to check in again!

November was most certainly the most difficult month in terms of keeping my resolutions - overall, a D+. Sure, there was one glorious Sabbath week in Mexico - all rest, all family, all of the time - but the rest of the month was the antithesis of slow. I might as well have been a ping pong ball projected back and forth, back and forth through some infinite abyss. Eat at a table? Nope! I ate at my desk 90% of the time. Take a lunch break four times a week? Nope! Most days I would completely forget to even take a 10-minute leg stretcher. Nope, nope, nope....

... but that's okay, because despite my abysmal performance this month, I learned some mighty important lessons.

Lesson One: tempo giusto

Slow isn't for everyone. It definitely isn't for me. I feel a lot more Maya-like when I'm operating at a faster, busier speed, especially when that speed is a result of things I enjoy. Last year, I had a lot more time on my hands. My evenings and weekends were, for the most part, free. And I hated it. I was bored, unmotivated, watched too much TV, etc. Some people however, thrive on slow. My dad, for example, has completely and entirely mastered il dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing). He can spend hours doing, well, nothing at all and loving every minute of it. But not me. Although I am absolutely exhausted when I hit the pillow every night, I feel like I am getting the most out of each and every day. I haven't quite found my tempo giusto yet, but I know that it lies somewhere closer to busy town.

Lesson Two: sabbath

Even though I thrive on busy, I absolutely, without a doubt, need a weekly Sabbath... and I suspect so do most people. Sabbath is so essential to my well being, that my body will force it on me when I forget to plan it into my week. And it makes sense. You can't drive a car without eventually needing to stop and refuel. Lesson learned. No more Sunday to-dos. I woke up this morning, politely cancelled all of my plans, and am happily spending every moment in sweat pants. Amazing.

So, on this cloudy, cold November Sunday, let yourself snuggle up in comfy clothes, completely forego the to-do list, and refuel... that is, unless you'd rather pack the day from beginning to end. Whatever you do, just try to live according to your tempo giusto today. :)

Thanks for the patient wait... I missed you!

mxo

one breath at a time...

Holy moly! Delinquent blogger here!

Let me explain my absence:

That's me!

Last week, I put my crazy little life on hold and headed to Mexico. After a few twitchy days - it's hard to know how to do absolutely nothing when you're used to doing way toooooo much - I settled in and let every cell of my body relax. Completely. Fully. Relax.

It was wonderful....

... except for one wee problem.

The vacation completely threw me off my nutty, nutty pace and I have struggled to get back. After three 16-hour days, I prepared for bed yesterday near tears.

Here's how the bedside conversation went:

me: There always seems to be so much to do.

hubby-to-be (htb): What do you mean?

me: My to-do list just grows and grows and grows. It never seems to be disappear.

htb: That's life, babe.

me: But it's so exhausting. It's wearing me out.

htb: Sure, if you let it. There will always be things to do, but you don't have to do them all at once.

LIGHTBULB! I realized that the pressure and speed was largely self-imposed. Sure, there are things to do. There always will be things to do. But how many of those things really need to be done? What's really important? What can wait? What can you let go of completely? It's seems that if you ever feel like I did last night, when you can't breathe because you have so much to do and just the thought of it stresses you out, simply slow down and prioritize. One breath at a time.

With that thought, I took a deep breath and mentally crossed off (or at least delayed) a third of my self-imposed to-do list. I turned over and fell asleep thinking about how much I love my wise htb.

So tonight, before you turn over and fall asleep, give yourself permission to give up one item on your life's to-do list... without guilt.

Namaste,

mxo

yoga pose of the week: triangle

And then there are days like this...

... days when you wake up rested, content, and knowing exactly what you need to do.

... days when the subway is remarkably empty at the exact same time it was ridiculously full yesterday.

... days when it's beautifully sunny and crisp outside.

... days when it really doesn't matter what anyone's issues are at work. They are theirs and theirs alone.

... days when you "end" the day with five hours of yoga.

... days when the world just makes sense.

... and you come home exhausted but elated.

So I owe all of you a yoga pose. I've been a tad tardy on this front (ironic really, given what I'm so absorbed in these days). But it happens. Life is life, and all you can do is move forward.

On that note, we're moving sideways this week, all the way into triangle!

This here is triangle (or trikonasana):

(Thanks Yoga Journal!)

Basically, while pretending you're squeezed between two panes of glass, you push one hip out and stretch all the way to the other side. When you've reached your limit, you windmill your arms (on resting on your shin or thigh, the other stretching for the sky), hold and breathe. Shoulders stack. Ribs stack. Length, length, length.

Triangle is great for stretching and strengthening your legs, stimulating the digestive organs, stretching your shoulders and chest, strengthening the muscles around your spinal column, etc, etc. It's also supposedly great for relieving stress and anxiety.

I personally have a love/ hate relationship with triangle. I have a hard time not crunching my side, keeping my ribs and bum tucked in, and figuring out where to look... sometimes it's an outright mess. But tonight, after two hours of just triangle (thanks universe!), I think I got it (really, thanks universe!) It's not that I perfected where my shoulders, ribs, hips, head, etc are in relation to each other - I still have a long way to go. Instead, the yoga lightbulb that went off tonight was simply this: give up attempting perfection and listen to your body. It knows best. When I gave up forcing my perfect triangle, I performed my best one to date.

There are many more lessons that come with practicing yoga than just how body parts must be aligned. It can't help but seep into everything else. But more on that later...

It's late. Time for bed.

Thanks for stopping by! :)

mxo

setbacks...

And then there are days like this...

... days when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and it spirals from there.

... days when you get shoved and pushed, and yelled at on the subway.

... days when it's dark and dreary outside... and cold, very cold.

... days when your coworkers pull you in every which direction until you almost rip apart.

... days when you skip what you love with every core of your being because you're too upset.

... days when nothing terribly horrible happens but still the world feels all sorts of wrong.

... days when all you can do when you get home is cry.

Today is one of those days - a setback on an otherwise fantastic journey.

The wiser, more mature me can't help but feel as though setbacks are life's greater wisdom forcing us to stop, slow down, and reassess. Maybe there is something we haven't quite learned yet. Maybe we're not exactly on the right path yet. In my case, I know exactly what's wrong - it's the same thing that's been wrong for over a year - I just don't know how to step outside of my non-risk-taking, playing-it-safe self... at least not yet.

“It takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you really are.” ~ e.e. cumming

november: SLOW

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."

GANDHI

We live in a world where time is money. It is a world of fast transportation, fast food, multi-tasking and one-minute bedtime stories. The implied goal always seems to be to add more to our days, to do more and to do it faster. We have forgotten how to negotiate boredom in this technology-rich, media-saturated, multi-tasking world. This would all be fine if we were all happier and healthier because of it... but we're not. "Time-sickness," as coined so poignantly by Larry Dossey in 1982, is pervading the world; we feel as though "time is getting away, that there isn't enough of it, and that you must pedal faster and faster to keep up" until you collapse in a heap of exhaustion. Even teenagers are complaining about and even dying from burn-out. Ours is certainly a world of fast people living faster and faster lives... but why?

In the last few weeks, my life has picked up such speed that I'm starting to get motion sickness. Every day and every weekend from here until Christmas (and sadly, beyond) is booked - completely, totally booked. Most of my commitments are wonderful ones - I've embarked on a very intensive yoga training certification, I'm planning a wedding, etc - but nevertheless, the speed at which I need to live my life is nauseating. I don't remember what I've read, what I've ate, whom I've seen or what I've done... and sadly, it's hard to remember the last time I spent some quality time with friends or family. It's all just a little bit... okay, a lot... too darn fast!

And then I thought...

'Do I really need to live my life at this speed? Is there another option that might be more suitable for my life?' Perhaps there isn't. Perhaps this is how I'm supposed to drive this vehicle until the next turn in the road. But as with all months before, the point is to take nothing for granted and to try everything to determine what makes me happiest and most healthy.

That said, in no particular order, here are this month's slloooooowww resolutions:

1. Reread In Praise of Slow by Carl Honore, slowly this time.
2. Eat slowly and only sitting down at a table - a desk does not count!
3. Take a lunch break four times per week.
4. Wake up earlier but don't go to work earlier.
5. Media blackout part II.
6. Meditate... every... single... day.
7. Sunday Sabbath.

A long list, I know, but a much needed one. The goal of this month is not to become a sloth or even a tortoise, though I feel that might have its advantages; instead, I hope to find my tempo giusto - my right speed.

(Source: MetroMoms)

Thanks for stopping by! Happiest of Hallowe'ens!

mxo

cozy wednesday evening ponderings...

Hi there!

Delinquent blogger here! It seems there is a direct correlation between how busy I am and how many posts there are. We'll have to remedy that!

The blistering winds and almost bare trees can only mean that time is passing and another month is almost up. With October drawing to a close, it's time to check in.

This month's focus on financials was, predictably, quite dull. I was thoroughly bored just three weeks in and passionlessly finished off the rest. But despite this month's lackluster challenges, I will admit that they were a necessary step towards the happier, healthier me I am striving for. It's not that I have more cash in my bank account on this eve before the long-awaited monthly pay day - I do - but the value of this month's challenges was in the self-awareness they afforded me. I learned A LOT about myself by reducing my consumption and even just by tracking my daily pennies. Here I thought I spend copious amounts on junk I don't need. I spend copious amounts, but on consumables instead - food, vitamins, massages, yoga, etc. With that realization, the guilt dispersed. These aren't frivolous things to me; they are part of what makes me happy and healthy. They are the little things that keep me smiling. What other reason is there to have money than to enjoy life?

So, with October's challenges almost completed, it seems I have reached the quarter mark of this narcissistic journey. What I have learned thus far?

Well...

1. Exercise is quintessential. No one wants to hear it, but exercise is the fastest, easiest, most guaranteed way to lift your spirits and keep your ticker ticking.
2. An uncluttered home is such a wonderful thing to come home to after a less than wonderful day.
3. Finance books bore me immensely.
4. Books and naps are worlds better than TV and aimlessly net surfing.
5. Giving wakes you up to all sorts of magic.

With all that said, it's absolutely true: I am so much happier and healthier than when this all started. Still a long way to go, but for now, I pause to enjoy the destinations along the way...

As always, thanks for stopping by...

Namaste!

mxo